Beware strange men in lycra
who colonize our path
riding carbon fibre horses
(quatre de front)
to escalate our wrath
They’re easily identified
in their peletonic host
bright highly-sponsored torsos
(cuisses de gammon)
seeing who can sweat the most
They swoop in slick formation
a multi-coloured snake
in search of hapless cyclists
(velos a l’ancienne)
left in their reckless wake
A supersonic phalanx
of helmets, gloves and cleats
measuring their pulse-rates
(qu’est-ce que c’est merde Strava?)
on infinitesimally small seats
With narrow skinny arses
arms and legs of knotted string
they breeze up hills like they’re not there
(hors categorie)
descending on the wing
So beware strange men in lycra
especially if they’re chubby
they sure as hell aren’t Geraint Thomas
(lanterne rouge)
just someone’s obese hubby!
© Graham Sherwood 08/2018
grahamrichardsherwood.co.uk 