You think I don’t notice
when you just arrive surreptitiously
perhaps I may have been quiet for a time
reading, my head deep into something, or meditating
sometimes your explanations are risible
when I catch you out lingering, loitering
you seem oblivious to your shadow
thrown like a rain cloud
your random requests for dinner suggestions
followed by an enquiring, ‘are you alright?’
I know you’re worried, me too
this unwelcome thing is important
neither of us saw it coming, blissfully naive
until it stopped me in my tracks
I saw the look on your face
as you registered what the doctor said
your rock, fractured, your foundations cracking
me looking like I’d been conscripted to go to war
now a month or two later, the shell-shock wearing off
life resembling normal, with adjustments
it’s time to stop the anxious frowning
the non-stop mental nursing
the anticipation of finding me
in a heap behind a door somewhere
*
© Graham Sherwood 04/2020
grahamrichardsherwood.co.uk 