Sunday bloody Sunday

6am, a rude awakening,

next door’s online groceries

at 6am, on a Sunday!

9am I’m putting the Christmas lights up

It’s 2c outside, fingers numb

keep dropping the bloody gutter hangers

11am I try to deliver secret Santas

for our social, got lost

in a new building development

postcode not recognised by satnav

12am now regretting asking

for a salad for my lunch

the iceberg lettuce really was!

3pm settled down to watch

a Christmas film, but

can’t work out how to

switch off the sub-titles

bollocks!

5pm him next door comes around

to ask if our Covid has cleared up,

strangely, says that he’s just

waiting to get it, bonkers!

tells me that this afternoon

he’d opened the inflatable Santa

that he bought from Amazon in July,

turns out it’s just a 4ft long blow-up

dachshund with a Father Christmas hat on,

I told him straight

advice from RSPCA is never, ever

buy a dog for Christmas!

*

© Graham R Sherwood 12/21